Shachar
He picked me up at party
His name meant Dawn in Hebrew
Which I have to say, seemed pretty fruity to me
But he spoke English well
And said he knew he’d take me home
As soon as we got to his room
He also said he liked having sex listening to music
He suggested the Cranberries
I think he hoped I’d be louder than Dolores
Which made me laugh
I said no
When I listen to music during
I concentrate too hard on the music
And I’m not in the moment enough
Which disturbs me after
He had the smallest member I’d ever seen
Which didn’t disturb me
Because I’d heard that guys who are smaller
Give better to girls
Young and naïve as I was at twenty
It takes me a long time to be done
He said
Which I also thought would be a good thing
Since so did I
So did most girls as far as I knew
We lay in his bed
Him on top of the sheets
Me beneath them
We didn’t have sex
Just messed around
His parents room was next door
I could hear his dad getting up in the middle of the night
To use the bathroom
Wash his hands
He didn’t know I was there
He snuck me out with him early the next morning
Dropped me home on his way to work
I saw him twice more
I don’t want to fall in love with you
If you’re leaving in two weeks he told me
For me being in love means thinking about the person all the time
He started telling me about his ex
Who it had taken him ages to get over
It ended dramatically
With a fight in the parking lot of his apartment building
I wouldn’t let him drive me home
I hopped into a cab instead
He was furious
He told the friend that introduced us
That I acted like a girl in a soap opera
We never had sex
I never met his parents
And we certainly didn’t fall in love
He tried to tell me how to dress after the second date
Don’t wear glitter on your eyes he said
You’re so much prettier without it
Don’t wear big jewelry, it’s weird
The list went on and on
I didn’t want his love anyway,
It wouldn’t involve me being me
His criticisms were a bad sign of things to come I decided
I knew that better was out there waiting for me
I just had to find it
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