the beautiful one
You have eyes like a cow
They bulge out of your head like someone with a thyroid condition
In photos
Scary
But you never look that way in person
They make your soft angles look harder
Now that you’re thinner
Everyone says you’re beautiful
It’s not just your confidence that makes people notice you
It’s not your clothes
It’s the light the shadows the way he captures you on film I think
It makes you look like the It girl you are
Like the It girl you’ve always wanted to be
You don’t seem happier
I think it but I don’t say it
I want you to be happy so much I pretend to believe you
And I try to cheer you on
Which I realize now may have put more pressure on you
I was trying to do the right thing
Could you see that I wonder
It’s been too long now
Your avoiding me has turned into our not speaking
It makes me sad
I’ve watch you not eat
Move food around your plate
I’ve watched you live with a scale at your front door
To greet the guests you don’t have over enough
I knew you when you were heavier in raver jeans
Clips in your hair
You dyed it a different color every week
Sometimes I didn’t recognize you when I saw you on the street
You always looked so different but you wore it so well
Chinese fabric tattoos a star on your hip that made a girl we didn’t know hit on you
You were beautiful then I thought maybe I didn’t say it enough
Maybe it wouldn’t have mattered
I heard that you guys broke up and I’m sorry
Sorry that you’re hurt now sorry that you ever were
Sorry for all the stress and change and real life that came
And most of all sorry for not trying to help you
( if you ever want to, find me, I’ll always be here to talk or hang out to talk about anything)
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