kagablog

`I don’t understand you,’ said Alice. `It’s dreadfully confusing!’

`That’s the effect of living backwards,’ the Queen said kindly: `it always makes one a little giddy at first –

`Living backwards!’ Alice repeated in great astonishment. `I never heard of such a thing!’

` — but there’s one great advantage in it, that one’s memory works both ways.’

`I’m sure MINE only works one way.’ Alice remarked. `I can’t remember things before they happen.’

`It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,’ the Queen remarked.

`What sort of things do YOU remember best?’ Alice ventured to ask.

`Oh, things that happened the week after next,’ the Queen replied in a careless tone. `For instance, now,’ she went on, sticking a large piece of plaster on her finger as she spoke, `there’s the King’s Messenger. He’s in prison now, being punished: and the trial doesn’t even begin till next Wednesday: and of course the crime comes last of all.’

`Suppose he never commits the crime?’ said Alice.

`That would be all the better wouldn’t it?’ the Queen said, as she bound the plaster round her finger with a bit of ribbon.

Alice felt there was no denying THAT. `Of course it would be all the better,’ she said: `but it wouldn’t be all the better his being punished.’

`You’re wrong THERE, at any rate,’ said the Queen: `were YOU ever punished?’

`Only for faults,’ said Alice.

`And you were all the better for it, I know!’ the Queen said triumphantly.

`Yes, but then I HAD done the things I was punished for,’ said Alice: `that makes all the difference.’

`But if you HADN’T done them,’ the Queen said, `that would have been better still; better, and better, and better!’ Her voice went higher with each `better,’ till it got quite to a squeak at last.

Alice was just beginning to say `There’s a mistake somewhere-,’ ** when the Queen began screaming so loud that she had to leave the sentence unfinished. `Oh, oh, oh!’ shouted the Queen, shaking her hand about as if she wanted to shake it off. `My finger’s bleeding! Oh, oh, oh, oh!’

Her screams were so exactly like the whistle of a steam-engine, that Alice had to hold both her hands over her ears.

`What IS the matter?’ she said, as soon as there was a chance of making herself heard. `Have you pricked your finger?’

`I haven’t pricked it YET,’ the Queen said, `but I soon shall - - oh, oh, oh!’

`When do you expect to do it?’ Alice asked, feeling very much inclined to laugh.

`When I fasten my shawl again,’ the poor Queen groaned out: `the brooch will come undone directly. Oh, oh!’ As she said the words the brooch flew open, and the Queen clutched wildly at it, and tried to clasp it again.

`Take care!’ cried Alice. `You’re holding it all crooked!’ And she caught at the brooch; but it was too late: the pin had slipped, and the Queen had pricked her finger.

`That accounts for the bleeding, you see,’ she said to Alice with a smile. `Now you understand the way things happen here.’

`But why don’t you scream now?’ Alice asked, holding her hands ready to put over her ears again.

`Why, I’ve done all the screaming already,’ said the Queen. `What would be the good of having it all over again?’

By this time it was getting light. `The crow must have flown away, I think,’ said Alice: `I’m so glad it’s gone. I thought it was the night coming on.’

`I wish _I_ could manage to be glad!’ the Queen said. `Only I never can remember the rule. You must be very happy, living in this wood, and being glad whenever you like!’

`Only it is so VERY lonely here!’ Alice said in a melancholy voice; and at the thought of her loneliness two large tears came rolling down her cheeks.

`Oh, don’t go on like that!’ cried the poor Queen, wringing her hands in despair. `Consider what a great girl you are. Consider what a long way you’ve come to-day. Consider what o’clock it is. Consider anything, only don’t cry!’