grief
Grief is not rational
Grief is you out of control
Grief could not care about your calendar
Your feeble projections
Based on theories about time
Grief pulls your strings
After letting you loose long enough
To feel the weight of another fall
Grief calls you inside
Locks you up
Takes you back to childish threats and tantrums
None of which make any difference
To what happened
To what is
To what can ever be replaced
Or ever be the same
Grief knows your secret weaknesses
Your hiding places
Can turn the most ordinary, familiar places
Into alien landscapes
Grief will change your walk, your talk
Will bring you unexpectedly to your knees
Grief ignores all your pleas
For relief
Escape
The numb of forgetting
Grief attacks out of the blue
Before you can even think of a defence
And even though you were there
For the brutal digging and carving of this wound
The cruel abruptness of this loss
Grief will make you zone out
Wonder where you are
Puzzle at the smallest and simplest of questions
Grief will make you want to hurt yourself
Will want to hold you back
When time pushes you forward
It will make you think you are stagnant, stuck
Frozen in her grip
Never to be released
Grief will try to convince you
That nothing and no-one can takes her place
Grief will pretend to disappear
Then jump up in your face
Laughing at you for thinking
You’d left her behind
Grief teaches you patience
Gives you no choice
Makes you want to rant and howl
Takes away your voice
Grief can destroy all you have built
And believed in
If you let it
If you forget to give in
To realise that resistance
Encourages grief to stay longer
That denial
Invites grief to sink deeper roots
Widen the spread of its blinding poison
Grief is a cleansing fire
Embrace it
Surrender to its demands
Grief knows the way
Knows the only way out
Is through
It is within this cave
Under the spell of its darkness
That grief’s real work begins
There
Where we are most afraid to go
There it waits
After the wars of mind and heart
To welcome you
To reveal the truth of its purpose
To grace you with its many gifts
January 14th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
strong!