October 8, 2009
October 7, 2009
October 3, 2009
October 1, 2009
May 2, 2009
May 1, 2009
April 23, 2009
April 21, 2009
February 8, 2009
February 6, 2009
October 2, 2008
Dad
My daddy was a jockey He rode the wives
of all His best friends, Rode them past
The finishing cries. Some of them
shouted “Harder harder”, One
of them told him to “Show
no mercy”. All of them
turned Their hus-
bands into
Cuckolds
July 30, 2008
April 22, 2008
January 14, 2008
December 28, 2007
The Inheritance
3 dollars that my dad gave me:
K55718895A
H64986301B
L73754268E
then he said
“99% of winning is in not giving up
and the rest is just pure luck”
The 51 Anti-theorems of the Uberyid
1.
Life is more fun than mathematics.
2.
Mathematics is more fun than life.
3.
The bottomology of the bagel is necessarily kosher.
4.
If it’s free take twenty.
5.
If you can find a schul on Route 66 get down and duvan.
6.
The enemy of good is better.
7.
It is better to steal than invent.
8.
Saving is better than earning.
9.
A falling apple made Newton clever.
10.
Never feel guilty.
11.
Logic is not the way to a man’s heart.
12.
Appetite is the entrance to the Youniverse.
14.
Dr. Johnson was a figment of Boswell’s imagination.
15.
Graft’s Pool is the gay margin of the Youniverse.
16.
All penetration is a betrayal of love.
17.
I can find titles; it’s writing the blurb that kills me.
18.
From where I am crazy’s looking good.
19.
There’s only one thing a man has to know; that’s pay, pay, pay.
20.
Nothing makes sense.
21.
One and one is fuck all.
22.
To hell with the fucking trees.
23.
Hatred towards God is the most potent of all emotions.
24.
There are as many answers as there are people.
25.
Trial and terror is my methodology.
26.
Give is a four-letter word.
27.
Ideology is the refuge of the desperate.
28.
Wherever I lay my hat is my hat.
29.
The second gram is always better than the first.
30.
Laws create criminals.
31.
God is the ultimate ombudsman.
32.
Truth is a crime against fiction.
33.
If you can think it, it’s real.
34.
What is needed is not to have the base in control of the apex, nor the periphery in control of the centre but an organizational form which dispenses altogether with apices or centres.
35.
If you can’t think it, it’s also real.
36.
All security is a false sense of security.
37.
The way to the self is through the eye of the other.
38.
You ain’t gonna know me just cos you think you know me.
39.
The wise close their eyes and know the answer before the question is asked.
40.
Memorabilia is the message.
41.
The distance between your feet and you changes when you’re on Special K.
42.
There is no excuse for your stupidity.
43.
Keep violence in the bedroom where it belongs.
44.
From Moses to Moses there is none like Moses.
45.
A saint is a sinner who keeps on trying.
46.
Stumble and fall seven times, bounce back eight.
47.
Look for the pony under the shit.
48.
The only guarantee is that everyone is a pinhead.
49.
If you wish to go in search of truth, cast aside your passions, your traditions and your fondness of things you have been accustomed to cherish.
50.
The point of life is to notice that you are, and always have been, already there; to create – who and what you are, and to experience that.
51.
Seeing is deceiving, being is believing.
December 22, 2007
My Father
Beneath the secret layers of your life
that you hid yourself under, Beneath
the fading curtains, the dusty
carpets, the tapestries.
Beneath the jumble
sale philosophies
you aspired to
for a week
or two
Beneath
the cortisone
and the chemo
that kept you alive
long after you were
supposed to die, Beneath
all that Was your Doornfontein
Black Hole Heart And your bottle
of All Gold Tomato Sauce
