kagablog

holding all the aces
you hedged your bets each way
in a manner that meant you couldn’t lose.
love and greed.
greed and lust.
the fortune teller was right
no matter how opposed to the idea
you might have been at the time.
you chose the path of least resistance
and greed won the day.
you cashed your chips and walked away
a soulless man
with any distant memory of what it
felt like to have and share pure love
overshadowed and compensated by the cold security
that the dollar can buy.
the fortune teller was right
about your life
not mine
~ though i felt things she could not ~
but i don’t think even she could have seen
just how high the stakes were when
an open heart met with a narcissistic one.

reflecting on lost moments
the ones that are
that were
that could have been but never appeared.
we get so caught up in the cycle of life
where we put the ego ahead of the heart
barely pausing to see what we have and hold
that matters beyond the daily grind
until..
well, until its too late
and all the reflection and remorse in the world
can’t bring those lost moments back.
“you don’t know what you’ve got till you lose it -
or its gone.”
why does the silly season conjure up so many quotable clichés?
so the
fragile
little
transient
moments
come and go.
its not till afterward that
(with the gift of hindsight)
we can be aware of their significance.
for some of the blessed, or cursed, few
we can catch a glimmer of a moment passing
that we know we may later regret,
but the egoic consciousness is too strong
to let the hearts warmth melt the ego’s pride.
and then.. - ?
and then we are left to ponder
if we will ever be able to make amends.
maybe in the next life
that can never come too soon
or be kept at bay too long..
i guess the point of all these swarming thoughts is,
as we all know but never seem to manage,
to be present in every way.
to try and remember the people and things
that matter to us most
throwing off the shackles of the
inanely mundane factors of existence
and
to give all that we have
to love and
to our hearts true calling.
then, and most importantly of all,
we could find true gratitude,
true peace,
in, and of,
every moment that we get to share
with others and with ourselves.
Christmas has almost been and gone
(depending on where you are in the world)
and my wish for all is
that we can find the miracle of now.

Stella* @ December 25th 2007

her tears burn down her cheeks.
she feels sorry for everyone;
for those that know,
for those that don’t.
stella’s ABLAZE!
she got disconnected
again.
stella’s going to be ok.
she can dream herself
to sleep
where everyone of those
burning tears has a name
and she learns all
the names off by heart.
this litany of chanted names
she cries to herself
when all of the flames
get too cold to bear.
stella’s on fire:
she’s wearing the devil
in her hair
and carrying his flame
in her eyes.

Amanda said that my mountain’s a nipple
Stella burst into tears
I ran down to the water’s edge
The waves burst round my socks
And Willy Cavanagh is a child in the Lord
Please God save all of us
Please God save some of us

Stella stared at me and I felt her eyes
Coming from some place deep
Amanda wants as many babies as she can
To pop right out of her
And Stella’s still looking for the Kozmic Lover
So she can groove her blues away

Me?
I’m just a little out of synch
I hope that God saves some of us
I hope that God saves all of us

Be empty of worrying.
Think of who created thought!

Why do you stay in prison
when the door is so wide open?

Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking.
Live in silence.

rumi

Our most important relationships are the ones we weren’t supposed to have…

here then is a very silent poem
saying nothing
about what i don’t feel for you

There is a reason why the sun sets
But it’s not because the world is round
You see my heart needs the moon’s pale
Fire to reflect your eyes within.

There is a reason why the sun sets but
It’s not to do with planets in orbit
You see how else could we get to sit
On a beach and nurse it to rise again.

Now the Sun and the moon are both whispering
The sound of their conversation is the
Roaring of the Waves caressing your Toes
With their silver tops and every one of
Those Toes is a good enough reason
For the Sun to come out again.

And now the setting Sun is chanting your
Name: It can’t forget your eyes and your
Smile and this Greyhound Bus is a Time
Machine and I’m floating through the Ether
Of a Virtual world that doesn’t belong to Me
But it’s the only world I’ve got

So the Sun goes down and the Stars come out
And Every One of those Stars are smiling
‘Cos they heard your voice on the phone.

There’s a reason why the world is round
And it is: If I leave you and keep moving on
I’ll eventually come back from the other side
to wrap you in my arms and watch the sun
setting in your hair.

That’s a good enough reason for me.

- Kaganof 1999 -

I MAKE MYSELF FLESH IN THE PRESENCE OF THE OTHER IN ORDER TO APPROPRIATE THE FLESH OF THE OTHER.

don’t miss me
i am inside you
all ways